Vegetables
came before diamonds. Then came rot. After that came pressure and heat. Both came after and on top of the vegetative matter. All that got squashed, and no one paid any attention.
Next came TV and tons of people paid attention, and then they paid, lots, so they could pay attention some more. And then some people became vegetables. They got some heat and pressure for that. Still do, but most of them now play video games. Egg heads call some of that irony, while literature profs call it full circle. After that came St. Valentine. That was all over in Ireland, where there was far less television and much more saintliness. Then a bunch of them came over here.
After all that, and in quick succession came American football–on TV, and the NFL, and then Valentine’s day. So, it seems we have them to thank for that. Diamonds attached to shiny metal came next. They put that on TV too. Soon all that and more came over TV, after the Superbowl, but before Valentines’ Day. And now we’re all Americans,or not, and that’s how we do it. You’ll see. The 14th’s just around the corner.
Coal
is cheap unless it’s old. Old coal is just old unless it was properly pressed and highly heated. Once heated and pressed coal is just that unless all that happened in a specific way and then it’s a diamond.
Both coal and diamonds busily minded their own business for billions of years, until people got involved. Said people shit-kicked their way through the world until they found both just lying there in the dirt. Next came jewelers, who scraped and rubbed and held the old now semi-bright diamonds up to the sun. Next came iron, bronze, and gold, and Valentine’s Day and the discovery that the sexes were somewhat different. Who knew? Cavemen and women.
Men are men–whatever that means, unless they’re properly pressed. Once properly pressed they become social. But when excessively pressed they become heated, like coal. But when excessively heated they do not become diamonds. They become cavemen, again.
Cavemen are not saints, but they do make passes. Ask Bezos. They are throwbacks resembling coal and unfit for female company or prime-time. Being unfit for female company is a problem. Back come the jewelers–and suddenly it’s Valentine’s Day–right after the Superbowl. Jewelers already knew about rubbed shiny coal and the Superbowl, and quality prime-time marketing.
Somebody thought about all that and suddenly in unison a lot of people all turned to look at you, as you busily minded your own business, like diamonds used to… Next, the lights were shining–that’s what they do, and the old coal that used to mind it’s own business, and had been properly pressured and heated and noticed and mounted was then put on TV.
Next, the Fa King TV was noticed by both men and cavemen, the later hoping to be mounted–like the old coal, the first two began to feel pressure in the wallet. Next comes additional pressure, and more heat, and noticing, but no rubbing, shining or mounting, just the pressure and heat.
After the jewelers and TV came the NFL, along with both defensive pass interference, DPI, and offensive pas interference, OPI. Now we’re back to both pressure and heat. Everyone knew then that football and its’ “rock” were discovered nearly simultaneously to coal as it’s “only big guys running into each other.” Nonetheless, football still hoped for fairness, unless the Saints were involved.
Cavemen declared football to be “good,” because “there are rules.” They hadn’t seen the play-offs yet. The rules were codified and meant to be applied universally, except when the Saints sent out their receivers. No one knew then that Saint Valentine was never fit to be a deep judge in the NFL, and thus his calls could never be considered either valid or “saintly.” Nonetheless there he was, with a whole hell of a lot of old coal on the line.
So in the final analysis, diamonds are simply old coal, once minding it’s own business, until meddling people, jewelers,TV, and blind-ass St. Valentine came along. On the other hand, if coal is really a shiny diamond then flat panels are diamonds which shine and also display football, And even cavemen can watch, next Play-Off Day when the Saints again send out their receivers and blind St. Valentine calls the next DPI all Fa King Good. And either everyone or no one at all gets something shiny.
Cutting the crap to get to the good stuff.
STOCKJAW
Tell Someone.
Thanks for Reading.
